October 2000 - The Big Buzz - Honey For Christ News

Ice-Cream For Christ

Now we've heard of stealing candy from a baby, but a large plastic ice-cream cone from a petrol station forecourt? That's original... It could only be Belfast rockers, Honey For Christ, who, on a recent trip to play a gig in Monaghan, landed themselves in trouble with the RUC after stealing said cone..

The incident happened at the end of the August, when Honey For Christ and another local band, Malkuth, headed down to Monahgan for a gig at McKenna's bar, organised by local promoters, The Distortion Project. The day got off to a bad start, with one missing guitarist (Malkuth's) and a van driver who forgot to take his license when he went to collect the van! Managing to finally get on the road around 4pm, it all started to go down-hill: "It was f**kin' mental on the way down," vocalist Jason Hendry recalls. "Every time we stopped, we took something - step ladders, peoples laundry..." "There was a hedge on the motorway on the way to Antrim," Andy remembers. "Before then it was pretty tame stuff - just arse out the window, giving people the fingers as we drove past... Then we stopped for a piss and our friend Anto, decided that he had to clear this f**kin' 16ft hedge, so him and Jason were up and over it. I don't know what happened, but I remember Jason landing on his head..."

"The guy had these f**kin' step-ladders - he'd been working at this hedge, or something so they were coming with us," laughs Jason. "Everything was coming with us! F**kin' all sorts of tools and everything lying about - rubber gloves.. the whole f**kin heap!..."

However, that wasn't enough for the Honey For Christ lads - they needed something bigger! And when they stopped at a petrol station, they spotted just the thing: "There was this big... you know those ice-cream cones that sit outside shops?," says Jason. "I never noticed the before, but now I see them everywhere! This one had, like, a Lion King thing on the top, so we thought we'd try and nick it, because we were nicking evaarthing else! So, I got out and tried to lift it, but it was chained to the ground, so the drummer from Malkuth gets out and he just whekes it out of the ground, graa and everything the whole f**kin' heap and he goes on his hole, trying to get it out..."

"Then Conor, the bass player from Malkuth was running with it and it must have been 6ft - he could hardly carry it! And he ran straight into the van doors! So he hits the deck, Jason grabs the ice-cream cone, f**ks it in the back and Conor's still trying to pull himself back into the van, but we got him back in and made this big mad getaway down the road! The Distortion Project, however, got caught in a traffic jam coming out of the garage!..." "That's probably how they caught us - they must have got the registration number of the van," says Jason. "No," says Andy. "I think it was the fact that our van had a big 'McCausland Van Hire' and a phone number on the side!..."

So, indeed the lads WERE caught. As they were driving back from the gig, The Distortion Project, in the van behind received call from the Armagh RUC, looking for the whereabouts of a certain large plastic ice-cream cone! They were told that if the cone hadn't been damaged and they returned it, they wouldn't be charged... However, the boys had a problem - not only had the cone been on stage with them during the gig and, consequently, had been punched, kicked and, er, even pissed on, but they'd also left it behind in the venue's car-park! So, after driving back to collect it, it was finally delivered to the police station in the early hours of the morning, in a most sorry state...

It looks like the lads won't get away with it either and Jason looks set to pay for the damages to the cone: "I spoke to the police a few days afterwards and they told me that they'd talk to the guy at the petrol station and see if he'd take it as a prank," says Jason. "But we'll have to pay for damages. The problem is that Malkuth are going to America for three months, so I'll have to pay for it probably!..." If anyone wants to donate any money to help Jason out, we'll gratefully accept any donations and pass 'em on!...

Kirsten McAlpine

The Big Buzz '00